I’m so sorry you’re feeling like that, anon, and please don’t feel like you’re a bother! You can vent or say whatever whenever you want, including in my messages, I’ll always respond when I can, you wouldn’t be bothering me.
As for your actual circumstances…yeah, buddy, it sucks. We’re not closeted for the fun of it! I wish you could come out too, and maybe one day you can, or at least just to the people who matter? As they say, it’s something that happens again and again, coming out to friends, to love interests, that doesn’t mean you have to be out to family. And whatever people are saying right now, there are people who won’t demand that you be fully out, who’ll understand your circumstances.
But you know, don’t think that you’ve run out of or are running out of time. Aside from it never being too late, 25 is not old. And actually, there are way more 25 year olds with no dating experience than you’d think, in general, but in a conservative area, and especially in the LGBT community, because of how the closet delays our social lives by so much, you know? You’re not like, behind the curve or something, or alone in wanting to find someone but can’t right now, most likely there are others in your environment who share what you’re going through.
Obviously the pandemic is making things even tougher, but you still have a chance when things ease, you may be able to find someone. Just try to be careful about it, as I know you already are, but your safety’s the most important thing here.