I feel you anon, I’m also a Muslim lesbian, personally I could never come out to my family because I would be risking losing my ties to my whole family but no matter how much they pressured me to get married, I would never ever do it because that is at least one aspect of my life I can control, and I don’t want to complicate things further by marrying some guy as my beard, that would hurt him, please consider you decision of marrying him, you deserve better

Yep, it’s unfair to you, anon, but it’s also unfair to the guy. It’s unfair all around, a mess of circumstances and guilt and misguided love, but there are so many reasons you can give to not be married and still keep your family. 

Come off anon, if you want, we can talk much more about this.