Dear Birth Mother: screw you. Do you think I want to beg a complete stranger for a kid whose own mother didn’t want him? You messed up and now you sit in judgment of the perfect parents for your baby… What do you know about parenting? About perfection?
If, by some fluke, you do us the great honor of pronouncing us fit to be adoptive parents, what will we owe you? Will we have to support you for the rest of your life? Name the kid after you? And what will happen once you realize what you’ve done? Will you come back and reclaim your child, rip her away and change her name? How could we ever trust you? How could we ever believe you?
Who are you, anyway? What kind of person would get herself knocked up by a scummy guy who runs away when he hears the news? Haven’t you heard of birth control? Of AIDS? Of abortion? Of OB/GYNs? Of monogamy? Of love?
I don’t want my kid to be your mistake.
Jana Wolff, Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother
Wolff’s adoptive son is the birth child of a Mexican-American mother and an African American father.
Adoption agencies officially recommend Wolff’s book as a resource for prospective parents.
Not that there are no words beyond that, but that all the words I have to say about Jana Wolff right now are incredibly ugly ones, and gendered slurs at that, because so profound is my disgust my only on-hand means of expressing it succinctly is so stigmatized because it is at the lowest levels of the same sexist, woman-shaming culture Wolff is calling on and playing into right now.
I guess HER secret thoughts were really just bigotry, but presented in an “honest” and “edgy” way. Surprise! Here’s some “secret thoughts” for ya:
Fuck Wolff, fuck her condescending, classist, racist, sexist, slut-presumptive and slut-shaming ass, and fuck the fucking horse she fucking rode in on.
This has to be a white woman. This has to be a white woman not considering that a child could be taken away by immigration officers cause they don’t consider PoC mothers, far less both PoC parents responsible. This has to be a white woman not considering that she’s essentially saying she only wants to adopt children of rape. This has to be a white woman – cause she just equated an adopted child as a mistake that should have been aborted. There is too much damn privilege and filth for this NOT to be a white woman going off.