Colbert: I am disappointed in you. This was never about helping people! This was a cynical manipulation of innocent children to plug your movies.

Hanks: Stephen, I can’t control what kids like, what with their Spongebob and their Pokeban and their Cloud Atlas.

Colbert: Oh, for the love of God, Tom.

Hanks: Fine, fine, fine, fine, Stephen, you’re right, you’re right, but you don’t understand the pressure of being Tom Hanks, when you’re up on the top, man, they’re always gunning for you, they’re always gunning for you. And now I got that punk Joseph Gordon-Levitt nipping at my heels.