I’ve been thinking over this and I know that when I first watched I was all, some people just don’t get to come out early! April shouldn’t have to go through this arc if she’ll be left disowned or whatever, they shouldn’t focus on coming out as the only goal, she has a right to prioritize her security and future, but I happened to catch a gifset of the skeeball scene and as always, paused on this one because it is the cutest:
And like, it made me super sad! For ONCE, she’s allowing herself to be so open with someone, not having to guard every word and glance and motion, knowing it’ll be accepted without judgment and with safety, like, she can trust in this dynamic in a way she can’t with anybody else! The closet is such a particular kind of hell when you know how the people around you will react, it truly is traumatizing to be that watchful and careful and afraid CONSTANTLY. I used to be afraid I’d accidentally say something incriminating in my sleep! It’s literally like being undercover or a spy in enemy territory, you don’t get any respite. Except the enemy in this case are your family and friends, the people you’d go to for comfort in any other situation.
But for just this moment, she’s letting herself relax with someone, and the worst part is? The worst part? She’s fully self-aware! She knows how intense she is! She knows how high-strung she usually is, how she comes across, how people regard her, how she’s been forced to be these last years. But what other choice does she have? Nothing until she comes out.
So I’ve changed my mind, anon. You’re right, I hope she does come out, and of course she is a fictional character, but I hope that kids–people in her position get to see a way out of it without too much loss. Her father becoming accepting would be too unrealistic but maybe it could be a Quinn Fabray kind of situation where they deal with him once and for all, that is actually plot-relevant, and then her mom is better about it? I just hope they treat it with the kindness I want for her. 😡
